Lies vs Truth

I have the honor of being on the leadership team for Shoulder to Shoulder, the women's ministry at our church, Emmanuel Wesleyan!  We had our 3rd event last evening and I'm still in awe of just how GOOD God is and how when you come expecting, He always delivers and THEN some!!!

This photo doesn't even capture all the women there - but what it shows is what we continuously pray for - women of all ages, colors, and background standing shoulder to shoulder worshiping together, supporting each other, coming together to encourage and build each other up!  

Sara, our fearless leader, asked me a bit ago if I would be willing to speak, to share a little of my heart...and my initial response was, "ME?!?"  Because if there is one thing Jenny Harsin hates to do it's public speaking...and public speaking in front of a room full of women?!?  Ummmmm...can we just say intimidating?!?  But I knew she asked me for a reason and I needed to follow through, BUT did giver her the heads up that she may very well regret asking me!  

As I sat down to write out what God was laying on my heart, it was this thought that kept coming to mind:  God says tell them who I am...and it's The I AM who tells me who I am, who WE are!!  Imagine my surprise when just last week as we were going over last minute details for order of service I noticed the songs I was going to be speaking between were "Who You Say I Am" and "You Say!" 

ok, God.  
I hear you!  

And here is proof that I followed through!

I don't know how I managed to actually get up on that stage, in front of ALL those ladies, but I did it!  

And even if I feel like I made no sense whatsoever, I had several ladies come up to me afterwards just thanking me for my transparency and asked if it was recorded (it was not)....so I thought I would share on here!  Maybe someone else needs to hear these words, too!  

We ARE better together, friends!!!  And sometimes that means TOTALLY stepping out of your comfort zone.  So, pretend you are sitting in the audience!

***

3lbs 3 ½ ounces 17 inches.

I started out small. 

Twin B!

This a fun fact in case you didn’t already know it about me – yes, I have a twin sister -

Twin “A” known as Melanie to most, Mello to me!

She was 5lbs 10 ½ ounces and 20 inches.

Even from the start, I was set apart.

I didn’t quite measure up. 

One doctor deemed me as “failure to thrive,” but I sure proved him wrong!

My mom shared this picture of Mello the nurses put on my incubator with a note reminding me I needed to eat so I could grow.  While she was able to come home, I stayed until I was 6 weeks and 1 day old – I had to reach 5lbs until I could be released. 

So – here I was, tiny but mighty AND finally home! 

While I was still the smaller one - I was the leader.  I was the encourager.  It was me showing my "bigger" sis what to do!

Fast forward to 4 years old and I’m still not “catching up” to my twin.

That’s when my pediatrician knew something wasn’t quite right and I actually ended up being a patient at John Hopkins Hospital…and spent many years in the Pediatric Endocrine Unit.  I was diagnosed with Renal Tubular Acidosis – a kidney dysfunction - and spent years under observation; test, scans, lab work, and medication.  It was at the age 13 – I was released as a patient once again.

This time not expected to grow anymore; I was officially told I had reached my full height.

 4ft 9 ½ in.

Just keeping it real – I round that UP to 4’ 10.

And here is what I remember:

I remember it being no real big deal.

This is me.

And it’s all good.

And then high school came.

And I just continued to get in where I fit in.

Which was with everyone!

I became a Christian at a young age and it’s just always been part of who I am.

I never tried to hide it or pretend to be someone other than me – I was known for what I believed in and everyone just accepted me as me.

I was even voted homecoming princess in 9^th and 10^th grade!

But High School also became a time where I started being called out for my size – remember … I have a twin and aren’t twins supposed to be the same?!  I was constantly being measured up to her size – she’s 5’ 6 by the way. However, we also have an older sister, Amy, who was a senior when we came in as a freshman…and she and her friends would step in when someone wanted to make fun of me for my size. 

I had (still have) a friend, Tan – she was as big as I was small and I think she felt it was her job to be my bodyguard.  From elementary school even to this day – I have no doubt that if Tan knew someone had anything to say about me – she would take it up with them!

And I had an army of drummer brothers – they didn’t let anyone mess with me!  That’s right - - - another fun fact – I LOVE marching bands!  My freshman year I was a “pom girl” and because of my size, I was right in the front leading off.  And just keeping it real – Jenny doesn’t do cold so those outfits just weren’t working for me.  So sophomore year I decided I wanted to go a different route – I was going to be IN the band because those uniforms were warmer and I could layer up underneath … and  since I was already in the percussion section I was able to join the drumline – and I played the “bells” … ummm yeah - those things are HEAVY and in case you forgot, Jenny still didn’t do cold.  So you can imagine that was a whole lot of fun for me…minus the fun! 

I had this support system in school, that while they recognized my size, they just loved “me” and were not going to let anyone treat me different because I didn’t meet the “standard or average.” 

Whatever that is anyway….

And I just let my little light shine!

But you see – what had happened was…life!!!  

Here we are, current day – 37 years old  - - - and I’m here to tell you that as much as we may try to get in where we fit in – the enemy fights even harder.

BUT - he’s trying to get in where he for sure doesn’t fit in.

And sometimes, that little light just might not shine as bright as it once had.

For me, as I’ve gotten older, there is a constant battle I have with those voices in my head – you know what I’m talking about, right??

If we would take a minute to be completely transparent, I think everyone can admit they have them.

And I don’t know what yours are telling you – but mine come to tell me that:

I’ll never measure up.

That my size will always be the 1^st thing people notice about me.

That I’ll never be recognized as a wife, much less a mother. 

That my voice is small and no one needs to, or let’s be honest, wants to hear what I have to say.

These voices, these lies are overwhelming at times.  

And something I have to constantly keep in check.

As I was preparing for this message, I actually sent a text to a few of my friends asking what their first impression of me was.

None of their answers had anything to do with my size.

True story.

But after sharing their answers they each asked Why?

So I told them I was going to be speaking on the lies I allow the enemy to throw at me and my size is a constant one I have to keep in check.  And where they each said that’s something they obviously “noticed” – it’s not what comes to mind when they think of me.

But yet it’s still something I battle.

Crazy how that works right?!?

Especially when it comes to being a wife and a mom, an employee…

Sometimes, it’s just seeing a photo and it being in my face that I just don’t look like the wife or mom.

Sometimes, it’s a pity party for one when I’m in the kids department…shopping for myself.

Sidenote: We have 2 girls, Ryleigh (14) who is 5’ 3 and Tatum (10) who is 5’ 1.

They obviously get their height from their mama!!

But most of the times – it’s the words.

It’s the questions.

It’s others thinking that I am another of Phil’s daughters and the awkward silence when I say nope, I’m the wife.

It’s having to speak over an intercom and have calls come flooding in asking when they started letting kids work there or who was playing with helium.

Confidence is silent.

Insecurities are loud.

Can anyone relate?

The voices you hear may not be the same ones coming at me – but you hear them the same…am I right?!

We have a choice, friends!

We can choose to give power to those voices or we can learn to tune out the enemy and only seek out the voice of God.

God spends a lot of time in the Bible telling us who we are.

It’s almost like he knew we were going to doubt ourselves.

Women especially.

I am here to remind you tonight that it is His voice that speaks truth!

That’s worth repeating - - - It is God’s voice that speaks truth.

The devil is a liar. 

And the voice he whispers in our head is just that – a lie.

And if we listen long enough to those voices about who we should be, we grow deaf to the beauty of who we already are.  We stop listening to the voice of God.

If we listen long enough to those lies, the enemy knows he can isolate us.  

He can intimidate us. 

A favorite scripture of mine is 2 Corinthians 10:5 - We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Did you catch that?!?

We have to take EVERY thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. 

We need to have us some “come to Jesus” meetings!!!

God’s voice is written down in truth and His words remind us over and over and over when the lies come flooding in. 

John 15:15 – I am called Friend

1 Thessalonians 1:4 – I am called Chosen

Ephesians 2:10 – I am called His handiwork – created to do good works

Matthew 5: 14 – I am called the LIGHT of the world

Galatians 3:26 – I am called Child of God

John 8:36 – I am called FREE

Psalm 139:14 – I am called fearfully and wonderfully made

If you’re like me – stop thinking about what you think others see in you. 

We need to work on being less image conscious…and if anything, be most concerned with whether or not others see Jesus in us!!!

I want to confidently say, “Use me, God!”

Just as I am, right where I am. 

But willing to constantly be molded to “grow” into what he has called ME to do!  (see what I did there?!?  I may have physically stopped growing years ago, but will ALWAYS be growing spiritually! )

And I want to encourage you to have that same attitude.

Because here’s the deal - You had a purpose before anyone had an opinion!!!

YOU were made ON purpose FOR a purpose!!

Stop comparing yourself to what others are doing or achieving.

There is no competition. 

It is a privilege to do what God has entrusted me to do.

And you need to know that He has entrusted you as well, my friends!

He has given you a purpose that only YOU can fulfill!

Do NOT let the voices tell you you are not good enough because I am here to tell you that if can use me – He can use You!

One size does NOT fit all, BUT Jesus fits ALL sizes!

In closing, I want to leave you with three thoughts.  

Three areas I want to encourage you to work on if you are struggling with the idea of “Who am I, God?!”

1 - Surround Yourself – at home, at work, at church, your friends

We are not meant to go through life alone – we really are better together!!!

While we may not get to choose WHAT we go through in life, we can choose WHO we go through it with!

I have a husband who loves me.  ME!!  He is always telling me he wouldn’t change one thing.  He absolutely HATES it when I get on my tippy toes for a hug or kiss – he will actually put his hands on my shoulders and push me down…He is constantly building up what I tend to want to tear down.

At work –Find ways to make your space reflect YOU!  Mine is bright and filled with the things I love the most.  

I spend more waking hours at work than I do at home during the week so I need to be able to look up and see the reminders of who I am and why I do what I do.  I have pictures and scriptures and notes of encouragement everywhere!!!  And I keep worship cds that I’ll put in and once my headphones get on, my work friends know I might just burst out in song at anytime…this is NOT a good thing.  You all may be thinking by this point that speaking isn’t my thing, but for sure – singing isn’t one of my things either!

At church – I want to encourage you to find some way to get involved!  Get involved with serving, with Adopt a Block, or with a small group!  We are SO thankful you are a part of Shoulder to Shoulder, but true relationships are built on a smaller level!  Get in where you fit in and make some new friends!

And with your support system – your friendships – you really need to be seeking those friends in your life who are like minded.  Who are seeking Jesus right along with you and will keep you accountable to walk out your purpose! This is not to say you cannot have friends who are not Christians, but your closest friends should truly be the ones who will speak truth to you at all times.  Those who will walk with you in the good times and the not so good times.

2 - Shine –  If you’ve taken nothing else away, I want you to remember this quote – The lanterns are different but the light is the same!

God has created each of us as a unique masterpiece! Yes, it’s true - - - we come in ALL shapes, sizes, and color and yet we have ALL been given a light within us to shine!

A light to shine to the world!

Can you imagine what it would look like for 200+ women from EWC shining their lights?  What that would look like in our homes, in our workplace, in our city?!

There may be times you feel like a nightlight and there may be times you are feeling like a floodlight – no matter where you are in your journey, I want you to start shining the light that reflects all the goodness of Jesus!

3 - Speak Life -

Read His words over and over. 

Sing His words over and over.

Speak His words over and over. 

No breath is ever wasted when you speak about the goodness of the Lord.  

When the enemy throws his lies your way – tell him, nope not today!  When you fill your head with good things your mouth will follow. 

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM!” This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’”

God says tell them “I am!”

And it’s the “I am” who tells me who I AM –

Tells us who we are…

We ARE a FRIEND of God!

We ARE CHOSEN!

We ARE HIS Handiwork, created to do good works!

We ARE the LIGHT of the world!

We ARE a CHILD of God!

We ARE FREE!

We ARE Strong AND Courageous! 

We ARE able to do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us!

We ARE Fearfully and wonderfully made!

And God - I believe what you say of me!!!


*** 

Friends, I hope you realize there are people in your life who truly are there to help carry the load - to stand shoulder to shoulder with you!  Sometimes, those people may not come packaged how you expect, but God uses us all!!! 

xox, 
Jenny

Let it Shine!

I've probably shared something similar before, however, I have really been thinking about this a lot lately, so wanted to just write out some thoughts.

I spend a lot of time in prayer in the morning.  Really more so just having conversations with God.  My friends know that my bathroom is kind of like my "prayer closet" because that's where I spend time in the morning, alone!!!  I have sticky notes on our mirror and some of my greatest thoughts and prayers come from this small room.

As I was getting ready for work just a few days ago, I clearly heard God say, "You don't need the spotlight, Jenny, because you ARE the spotlight!" 

Ummmm...what?!

Me??
I don't want or need the spotlight.
Why would those be the words I hear clearly?

And when I say I heard the words clearly, it wasn't like an audible voice, more like a resonation deep within me - if that makes any sense?

And then I thought to myself, "Do I?"

I like to write, I like to post on social media, I like to send notes in the mail...
Is that me trying to be in the spotlight?

The answer is no.
I do not like to be in the spotlight.
And that is 100% truth!

But because I have been thinking about this quote, I had to double check myself!
And then put into perspective the words I was hearing being spoken to me.

You don't need the spotlight because you ARE the spotlight!

I AM the spotlight because I have the light of Jesus within me and I have been called to let that light SHINE!

For those who may not know - I love sunflowers!!!

They are bright and cheery and have these brilliant yellow petals that are known as "rays" and truly have a resemblance to the sun!

I did a little research on sunflowers and this is what I found:

• Phototropism (the orientation of a plant in response to light) effects both the leaves and flowers of the young sunflowers.  The small leaves of a young seedling turn toward the sun.  However, as the plant grows, as it matures, the leaves on the shaded side of the plant grow more quickly than the leaves in full sun.  
• Heliotropism (the directional growth of a plant in response to sunlight ) - the flowers following the sun across the sky!  They literally seek out and face the sun.  Facing the sun is mostly observed in young flowerheads and generally stops once the flower starts to bloom.  
• Sunflowers grow best in locations with full sun yet they are also remarkably tough and will grow in any kind of soil as long as it is not waterlogged.  
• A single sunflower can have up to 2,000 seeds!  This amazes me!  That fuzzy center actually holds flowers themselves. 
• More than 60 varieties of sunflowers are found around the world in different shades.  Some varieties also have striped petals and each center may vary in different shades. 

And here is what I am taking away and want to encourage you to think about!

Those who shine from within don't need the spotlight!

Did you catch those facts about sunflowers?!
Facing the sun (being in the spotlight) is mostly observed in young flowerheads.  Once the flower starts to bloom, this need of being in the full sun generally stops.  In fact, it's noted that as the plant matures, the leaves on the shaded side actually grow more quickly than those in the full sun. I love that there are more than 60 varieties of sunflowers around the world and their petals can be found in different shades as well as their center YET it doesn't make one more or less beautiful than another.  And probably one of my most favorite facts is that each single flower can have up to 2,000 seeds!  ONE sunflower has the opportunity within itself to allow thousands of new sunflowers to SHINE!!!

While being in the spotlight may be needed for a time of growth, sunflowers do not need the sun to continue to "shine!"  I just LOVE this!

I took this photo last spring because, among all of the other blooming sunflowers surrounding it, I was drawn to this one.  I loved how the sun was behind it, it hadn't yet bloomed, but you can already tell that it is going to shine!!!  I loved how confident it looks among all the other sunflowers, that it knew its potential, just was doing things its own way!

And I think I'm figuring this out...

Some people just don't need the spotlight.
At all.
They simply shine just by being who they are.
They are the kind of people you gravitate towards.
You feel their warmth.
They somehow make any cloudy day sunny.

Some people need the spotlight because they need the affirmation they receive from being there.  Maybe they will mature and not need to stand in the spotlight for long.
Or...maybe they will.

And some, well some just have the need to be in the spotlight, regardless.

What we need to remember is this - keep shining your light!!!  Keep encouraging the inclusion of everyone to simply be in the field/on the stage, regardless where the light shines!  We have the power within us to plant thousands of seeds for people to eventually step out of the spotlight and shine their own light!!  That is powerful!

The sun helps sunflowers shine bright!
The Son (God) helps each of us shine bright!
We can help others find their light!

Friends, we are so much better together!  Take what spotlight you need, but I want to encourage you to get to the point where it doesn't matter where the light is shining because you have become the spotlight helping others on their way!!!

xox,

Jenny

Catch People on the Bounce

I like to read.

Actually, I LOVE to read!!!

I read to wind down.

I read if I have some down time.

I read waiting for appointments. 

I read at the beach.

I read before bed.

I read with my girls.

I have a very bad habit of reading on my kindle at night and will get so into a book that it will be WAY past my bedtime when 1) it runs out of battery life or 2) I look up to see what time it actually is.

I recently came across the book, Everybody Always, by Bob Goff.

And OMG!!!

THIS book!

This book is absolutely one I will be recommending for, well, EVER!

It's an easy read but simply filled with so much truth and insight.

24 chapters.

Each based on a unique experience that Bob has had in life and has somehow made it so easily applicable to the reader to put into perspective.

I'm just going to be completely transparent.

I thought I was a person who "loved well."

Reading this book has made me take a deeper look at my own self and the interactions I have on a daily basis...maybe not so much with the people I know, but for sure the ones I don't.

Being better together also means loving well.  

And I am determined to put into practice what is stirring in my heart after reading (and rereading) this book.

I want to live my life so the words below are 100% true at all times.

[I bet this is what Jesus meant when He told His friends that people would understand who He was by watching how we treated each other. Early on I thought big acts of generosity or great sermons or arenas full of people singing songs would help us understand God's love for us. He said it was none of these. Jesus told His friends that letting people see the way we love each other would be the best way to let people know about Him. It wouldn't be because we'd given them a lot of directions or instructions or because they memorized or studied all the right things. It would be because someone met you or me and felt as if they'd just meet Jesus.]

[[ It would be because someone met you or me and felt as if they'd just meet Jesus. ]]

A few of my favorite quotes:

And here's an excerpt from one of the chapters that stuck with me the first time and I want to share with you in closing.  

Catch people on the bonce:

[ ...There's one last thing the instructor told us in class. He said if the main parachute doesn't open up and the reserve parachute doesn't either, you've got about forty-five seconds before you hit the ground and make your mark. I was surprised and a little grossed out when the instructor said hitting the ground isn't what kills you. Every bone in your body will break, of course. But after you hit the ground, you'll bounce - and it's the second time you hit that kills you as the broken bones puncture all your organs. I know that is kind of graphic, but it's true.

I'm a lawyer, so with this information in mind I figured I needed a strategy. Here's mine: if none of the parachutes open up, when I hit the ground, I'm going to grab the grass and avoid the bounce. What is true in skydiving is true in our lives. It's usually not the initial failure that takes any of us out; it's the bounce. We've all hit the ground hard at work or in a relationship or with a big ambition. Whether we had a big, public failure or an even bigger private one, the initial failure won't crush our spirit or kill our faith; it's the second hit that does. The second hit is what follows when things go massively wrong or we fail big, and the people we thought would rush to us create distance instead. They express disapproval or treat us with polite indifference.

If we want to be like Jesus, here's our simple and courageous job: Catch people on the bounce. When they mess up, reach out to them with love and acceptance they way Jesus did. When they hit hard, run to them with your arms wide open to hug them even harder. God wants to be with them when they mess up, and He wants us to participate.

.
.
.

Be with each other. Don't just gather information about people who have failed big or are in need - go be with them. When you get there, don't just be in proximity - be present. Catch them. Don't try to teach them. There's a big difference.

We don't need a plan to do these things. We don't need to wait for just the right moment. We just need to show up, grab a parachute, and when it's time, jump out of our shoes after people the way Jesus jumped out of heaven to be with us.

Sometimes we make loving people a lot more complicated than Jesus did...]

We are SO much Better Together my friends!

Do yourself a favor.
Read this.
And then read it again.

And simply LOVE.
Everybody, Always!



xox,
Jenny

Get In Where You Fit In...

My hubby said something similar to me the other day and while he didn't know it was just what I needed to hear - it was JUST what I needed to hear.

You all know I am one who truly does believe we are better together!

And I absolutely love the quote, "A single twig breaks, but the bundle of twigs is strong" - Tecumseh

I daily strive to reflect this attitude and build bridges.  And to be totally transparent, I have these HUGE dreams of what this "Better Together" looks like locally but often times find myself feeling like that single twig.

In January, I knew my schedule and "life" would allow me to join our church's Adopt A Block ministry.  Although I had volunteered a few times prior, there is something different about making a commitment.  Since February, my youngest daughter and I have faithfully shown up to serve and show love to our local community the 2nd and 4th Saturdays each month.

And it has been one of the BEST decisions I've made!!!

The people I didn't know I needed in my life - well, we are now family!!! 
My Green Team!

We clearly realize there is food insecurity in our community and that is our way into the "door" and by doing so, we have not only been able to provide food, but we are building relationships!

Our program director, Mark Thompson (who is remarkable), invited me to attend a round table forum with the USDA this weekend.  My heart has been stirring for some time that I need to do more and I simply told him to let me know how I can be of more help.  So here I come, young white female, into a predominately black church, not knowing a soul, as I waited for Mark to join us.  While some might have felt out of place, I felt right at home.  They seated me, unknown to me, next to the church's First Lady :)  and to my right, the sweetest "Mom Francis."  I did end up knowing one lady there, she was my 7th grade ELA teacher, but I don't think it would have even mattered because when you're surrounded by those who are like minded, you just "fit in."

This meeting, facilitated by the local USDA team, was geared towards recognizing the challenges our communities face and working TOGETHER to help tackle these issues.  There was representation from political, business, school, community, and faith based leadership.

I felt like I was part of the "bundle" at this meeting.
As I sat and listened, I gained much insight.

Some of the top challenges our local communities face include:
Education
Affordable Housing
Hunger
Drug Crisis/Mental Health
Transportation

As I mentioned, our Adopt A Block ministry supplies food 2 Saturdays a month to a section of our community and that is our way to build a relationship with the people on these blocks.  Our other 2 campuses do the same thing monthly.  But by doing this, we are also ensuring that the children in these houses are enrolled in school, and if not, have someone reach back out to them to help get them enrolled.  We ask besides food is there anything they need for their household and we have provided beds, kitchen tables, refrigerators, clothes, etc as needed.  Our blocks fall within a heavy drug and crime area and we offer assistance with the resources we have available - we've had narcan training and information on rehab services - but more often than not, the one thing they will allow for us to do is simply pray. And PRAY we do!!!  There have even been times we've helped those who want to come to church but have no transportation to get there!

So this ONE ministry program that our church does just twice a month (once a month at each of our other campuses) is reaching 650 families!!!  And we are touching on each of the top challenges are community faces in some form.

Can you imagine what that would look like if we work TOGETHER to do this more?
And not just focus on education for school aged children, but education and mentorship for those who have fallen on hard times and need to relearn how to "live" again?!?

I know I've said it before but I think it's worth repeating - we do not have to cross borders to find people truly in need.  We have people right in our own communities who need help!!! 

***

Another opportunity I've had this year is to be on the leadership team for our Shoulder to Shoulder women's ministry at EWC.  My beautiful friend, Sara, came to me earlier in the fall and shared what was stirring in her heart and knew I had much of the same stirring in mine...so when she asked if I would like to be a part of the team I was ALL in!!!

And talk about bringing people TOGETHER!!!
We had over 200 women show up for our 1st gathering!
Ages ranging from high schoolers to Great Granma's and a mix of color and nationalities.
What an amazing sight it was to see so many women, standing shoulder to shoulder, as we ended in prayer that night.

As we are praying and seeking direction on how we can serve our local community, I cannot help but feel overwhelmed with what the effect of 200 women on a mission will look like!!!

It's so exciting!
And it is exactly what our communities need!

Small things.
Or big.
It ALL Matters!!!

When we come together to work to build our community UP, I truly believe that we are leaving the greatest marks on the world.
I know we are already doing good things locally and I am believing for greater things to come!

I want to encourage you to get in where you fit in!!!
Get involved with programs that are helping to revitalize our communities.
You might not feel comfortable at first, and it may just be because you don't realize just how privileged you are.

Do it anyway.
It ALL Matters.

We are so much BETTER TOGETHER my friends!


xox,
Jenny