Mother's Day Celebration

My name is Shelby and I am the momma of a beautiful (I may be biased) 5 year old little boy, Colton. My husband, Evan, is an amazing man and we have been married for 8 months, but together for 6 and 1/2 years (feels like a lifetime though with all we've been through). I am a nurse in the Cath Lab; I started nursing school when Colton was 3 months old and finished before he turned 2 (even if it was 4 days before, lol). I grew up in Pocomoke and now live in Hebron where my husband and I recently bought our first house. Being a mother is my greatest accomplishment and Mother's Day is always a time of Celebration for me for many reasons!

5 years ago today I was celebrating my very first Mother's Day... I was celebrating more than that.
I was celebrating life.
I was celebrating not only this new life I had brought into the world, but my own life.
The day Colton was born was the most exciting day of our family's life but also the scariest!
As quick as the joy of seeing this sweet baby boy overcame us, fear swept in and overcame my family as I fought for my life.

I count my blessings EVERY SINGLE DAY! Labor was long and drawn out for me, my blood pressure spiked, I was in labor for 24 hours and pushed for almost 4 hours before we decided to have a C-Section. Everything was fine; I was in recovery celebrating with my family. I was bleeding a little, but everything was fine. I got dizzy, my color changed, and suddenly NOTHING was fine; I was bleeding, literally, to death.


Evan held me as they announced Code Blue over the intercom.
He held me as they started CPR.
He held me as they rolled me away from him back to the Operating Room.
In that moment he thought he would never hold me again. He thought he would be a single Dad to this gorgeous baby boy.
5 hours later he held me again as I lay in the ICU with machines doing everything for me.


The next day he held me as he told me in the mix of saving my life they had to do a hysterectomy.
He held me as I realized, at 23 years old, I would have no more children, I would never be pregnant again.
Two days later he held me as I held Colton and we were a family TOGETHER!

During this crazy, tough time for 2 young parents, someone told us that God only gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers.  It's what got us through! We knew in this time we had to be soldiers for this baby boy God had given us! We had to be strong! So that's what we did! We fought the battles together and 2 weeks later, we were home still fighting the battles TOGETHER! And we still fight battles, but we are His strongest Soldiers!


This week is always filled with mixed emotions for Evan and me!
Joy - because we have a beautiful baby boy that means the world to us and we love more than anything.  Grateful - because we were given the chance to raise him TOGETHER!  Excitement - as we watch the excitement take over our now 5 YEAR OLD as we celebrate his birthday.  Sadness - as we remember that day as if it were yesterday and how scary hearing "Code Blue" for your family member is. 
Today I look back and remember holding my Bunkin in ICU for the first time, I remember the feelings I went through finding out I would have no more children, I remember being angry, sad, depressed even, but today I am so Happy and Grateful for everything I have been given!


I get to Celebrate Mother's Day with my beautiful baby boy tomorrow!  I'm watching him grow everyday and get to enjoy the "pizza pie" and "pea salad" he just sat on my lap to "taste" anytime I want to!


HAPPY MOTHERS DAY, MOMMAS!!! Squeeze them extra tight!!!

Rooted in Love

I don’t know if you have ever noticed this in your life, but for me recently, it seems like there is a central theme that has become a focus in my life – at home, work, and church – right now.

It’s this whole idea about being planted and what you produce!

This past week the message at our church was focused on this very same thing:

It is like a mustard seed, which is the [smallest of all seeds] on earth.  Yet [when planted, it grows and becomes the largest] of all garden plants, with such big branches that the birds can perch in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32

A little take away from this.

For me, it's how sometimes I get so hung up on size.

SIZE!
How dumb is that?!

Just keeping it real my friends.

But we're reminded about the mustard seed; the smallest seed planted in the ground...yet when planted, grows and becomes the largest of all garden plants.

Friends, no matter our size, or what we've been given, or what gift or talent we have...We have been planted for a purpose!

But sometimes, we don't see ourselves as being planted but rather as being buried.

You're NOT being buried!

You're being planted!!

Etch that into your mind!

Sometimes that means you're going to have to change your perspective!

Sometimes you're going to have to take what's pushing you under and have FAITH that God is doing something below the surface and He's working it all together; growing you and preparing you for something greater!

The size of what's planted will never be the same size as what is produced!

You MUST see the tree in the seed!!!

And this is where I'm currently at in my life, if I can just be transparent.

I'm a people person who really is not a people person...if that makes any sense whatsoever.
I love building people up, I love encouraging others, I believe God puts people on my heart when they need it most for me to pray for them.

And I truly do believe we are so much better together!

However, I don't like being in the spotlight and I certainly don't like speaking in public. 

And I often feel out of place in crowds of people.

So I've found my little comfort zone in sharing my heart via social media, blog, texts, notes in the mail, simply praying. And I know, my name isn't one millions of people recognize or even know. And I know, I may be a small voice in the midst of an ocean ​of noise.

But I also know that just taking my little seed and letting God plant me for something greater will show that size matters not!

God has a purpose for each of us...do you have a seed? That's all you need!

Which brings me to the real reason for this blog – over the past several weeks, we (well really just my hubby) finally have our front flower gardens looking pretty!

I actually came home one evening last week, later than normal due to an appointment, and knew as soon as I turned the corner that something looked different.  As I got closer, I could see that it was our garden!!!  I’m not one who loves surprises…but this was the BEST surprise!

Phil’s work schedule has been crazy busy and he just didn’t have time to put into it…but he knows how much I love this time of year when everything is just bright and blooming and blossoming – so much color – almost like everything is speaking LIFE!

Everything in my flower garden speaking life with the exception of my lilacs.

And, see…what had happened was…

We had a new guy come cut our lawn a few weeks ago.  And I didn’t even think to mention to him about my small, still trying to grow, lilacs. 

So when I went to go water them the day after, I found that they had been run over by the lawnmower and taken down to the bare bones, barely noticeable from the ground at all.    

And my heart just sank.

I asked Phil to take a look and he assured me that they would be ok.
That the actual roots hadn’t been touched.
They would just need time to heal and we would see life again.

To give a little more info on these lilacs, they actually came from shoots that my mom had cut from her grandparent’s home.  She planted some at her house, gave me two that I planted at our house.  And my mom actually gave some to a friend of hers to plant at her house.

I did a little research on lilacs and found that they are often considered to symbolize love. 
And looking at my lilacs, this has been swirling around in this head of mine…

 This is a photo of the lilacs that actually came from my great grandparent’s home.

Full of life!  Roots that run deep and have weathered the extreme year after year for decades - freezing temperatures to the highest heat from the sun, rain, sleet, snow, hail, high winds, even tropical storms and hurricanes.   Roots that have continued to sprout and show beauty no matter what comes their way.

Much like love.

They have held their ground and continued to reach out no matter what.

And here’s photos of the shoots that were planted at my mom’s house:

As you can see, there is life to them, too.  Not as full and vibrant as the first, but strong enough to stand high and sprout leaves and possible flowers this spring.  They are still getting their roots grounded and finding their place in this world.  But reminding themselves where they came from and the strength of love that initially supported their shoots. 

And here’s the photo of the shoots that were planted at my mom’s friend’s house:

Stronger and full of growth!  They are doing SO well that she is even able to take her own shoots to pass on to her granddaughter to plant at her house.

A reminder that love carries on.

And finally, here’s a photo of what I am now seeing of the lilacs at my house:

I wish I had thought to take a photo of what they looked like just a few weeks ago.

But look at them!!! 
Starting to show life!

But not before I had to put walls around them…to protect them from the outside and what was coming at them.

Not before I gave them some extra love; “food” to help nourish and extra water each night to remind them that they CAN live again.

A reminder that love doesn’t give up on you.

And as Mother’s Day is approaching, I was overwhelmed with how these lilacs reminded me of what motherhood is like, well at least for me.

I come from a love that is strong and rooted deep.  
It’s actually beautiful when you take time to really look at the love my family shares. 

And even though I started out small, I have planted roots and now have a family of my own.  My family has grown so very much in the past 13 years…so that love I grew up with continues on.

And although our roots aren’t as deep, and have been cut down to the ground at times, they are strong enough to weather the highs and lows that have come at us, and we just take the needed time to come back stronger each time.

Our girls have friends that we are able to “love” and nurture and I’d like to believe that love will carry on, too. 

Hopefully, you’re still with me at this point.

All I really want to say is this – We are leaving a legacy.  Each one of us.  I encourage you to plant your seed and see the tree.  Remember that sometimes you’re going to feel like you’re being buried with what may come your way –  or even feel like maybe you didn’t come from deep roots.  If I could encourage you today - choose to push your own roots down a little farther and let it start with you.

Years down the road, may your great grandchildren be able to look back and say, I came from a lot of love!

Ending this with how I feel...I want to leave a legacy and these few lyrics from Nichole Nordeman say it all:

“I want to leave a legacy

How will they remember me?

Did I choose to love?

Did I point to You enough

To make a mark on things

I want to leave an offering

A child of mercy and grace

Who blessed Your name unapologetically

And leave that kind of legacy”

xox,
Jenny

A Love Encounter

Barefoot in my living room – surrounded by chaos.  I’m half dressed for big day at work and spotted a rouge kid booger on my new blazer.  My husband left for an early morning conference and I found myself alone with our teething toddler, James.  I’m surrounded by what looked like a mad scientists’ work-space full of toys and experiments.  Wooden block towers that had been knocked over with incredible gusto and play-doh with monster trucks “stuck” in its grip. 

I’m thinking about the day ahead and the mountains I’m about to climb at work.  Thinking about the people who will need my help and wondering how I can best fight the bureaucracy to get the job done. The even more daunting thought, though, is how I’m going to break it to my toddler, again, that we can’t wear our rain boots to school and that teachers REALLY appreciate it when he wears pants. 

 

Ya’ll - I just needed Jesus.  You know that feeling…

 

I shouted over Caillou (and the impressively accurate siren noises coming from my two year old), “Hey, Alexa! Play Kim Walker Smith Radio!” The music started and I met Jesus right where I was.  Right. Where. I. Was.

 

One shoe on - one shoe off and half of a head of curls.  James shouted at me to stop singing.  (A new favorite thing of his to do). I just sang anyway. And I worshipped. And I swayed.  James was displeased when he realized that I was no longer pretending to be a buyer of his ice cream.  But I fought for my focus - for just that moment – and just continued to sing and meditate on Him.  And something amazing happened.

 

James grabbed his favorite stuffed doggie and snugged him into his chest.  He stood at my feet with outstretched arms – he wanted to be held.  He laid his head on my shoulder and we sang and swayed to the music together.  I raised my arm in worship and in thanksgiving and he watched intently.  He stayed with me in that moment and we danced in circles around the train tracks and building blocks.  

 

When the song ended, he grabbed my face and planted a big wet sloppy toddler kiss (with a side of oatmeal) right on my lips.  You guys - he felt the presence of the Lord!  He quieted his heart at just the right moment and he knew mommy was having a love encounter with Him.  And he stayed with me in that moment and joined me with the sweet innocence only possessed by a child.

As he scurried back to his ice cream truck business, I took in his little face.  Cheeks round and eyes so blue.  The “ice cream” was now melting in his imaginary world, so we had to rush off to grab a crane to save us.  As we searched for the crane, under pillows and inside of tents, I couldn’t help but to, again, notice the chaos.  But, in that moment, in the middle of THAT mess – we had a beautiful moment.

Everything does not have to be perfect in our lives to encounter God. I’ll write that again for my own good.  Everything does not have to be perfect in our lives to encounter God. 

 

See – I’m working on something with myself.  And here’s the confession: I’ve discovered that I’m sometimes (okay, most of the time) a black or white personality.  It is or it isn’t’.  It’s right or it’s wrong.  I’m going to do something or I’m not going to do something. There is no in between with me.

 

This trait has been helpful in my career –dealing with what’s fact and what’s fiction.  Deciding that I’m all in.  But, in my personal life – it just does not apply as successfully and maybe that’s you, too… I’m going to eat healthy or I’m going to eat junk.  I’m going to go on vacation to relax for a week or I’m not going on vacation at all.  I’m going to remodel this house from top to bottom or not at all. I’m going to do a full on Kim K face contour or I’m not going to do my makeup at all. I’m going to do my devotions every morning at 6am or not at all.

So, today, I’d like to give us permission to just meet Jesus right where we are.  To say, you know what – “This house IS a mess but I’m going to worship among these train tracks and stinky boy socks anyway.”  “Yes, I missed my 6AM alarm, but 7AM is a fine time to do my devotional today.”  To say, “This is not a carved out perfectly quiet little time of devotion – but it’s my time.”  Permission to say, “My life feels like a mess, but Jesus still loves me and he wants to meet me anywhere – anytime.” Kim K contour or not.

 

If you are anything like me, I hope that you will join me in giving permission to ourselves by saying: "It does not have to be black or white.  It CAN be full of all of the colors in between - and we CAN meet Jesus right where we are.”  And what an encounter it will be! 

 

Everything does not have to be perfect in our lives to encounter God.  

*Post by our blogger, Heather Duma

I thought I loved my Mother...

Guest post from someone I am so thankful to call my friend!  I've known Jamie for less than 5 years, but she (and her family) have become more than friends to me and my family, they have become family.  She has a heart that beats for Jesus and hands that heal (she's also the best massage therapists I know!).  I'm excited to share this from her tonight!

******************************

I thought I loved my Mother. Growing up a child of divorce, I was raised primarily by my mother from the time I was 2. We had an amazing relationship as I grew up, and I always felt that Mom was everything I needed: provider, protector, nurturer, and best friend...we always got along very well. (Sure, there was a span in my teen years when I was probably more difficult to get along with...but for the most part, we’ve been a great team!) I couldn’t have asked for a better woman to bring me up in this world.

So, I thought I loved my mother as much as I possibly could, but I’ve learned recently that I was wrong.

You see, a few months ago, I gave birth to my first baby. His name is Levi, and he is my world. I laugh about it sometimes: how much you simply love this new little person in your life, when all they seem to do is spit up on you, pee and poop on you, and steal every possible opportunity you could have to sleep or enjoy quiet...and all while you’re still wading through a sea of hormones and emotions. It really is a miracle sometimes! But isn’t that what love is? A miracle? If we look, we see it every day: between husbands and wives, parents and children, and God and His creations. You are loving someone who isn’t perfect, doesn’t always act nice toward you, or some days, doesn’t seem to show you that they like you at all...and yet, your heart has them tattooed in it’s very core. We so easily forget that we are sometimes on the other end of that deal: that we have at times been ungrateful, taken others’ love for granted, or neglected to show someone how much they mean to us. Of course, it’s almost never intentional, but people aren’t perfect, and that’s just how it is. Thankfully, our shortcomings serve a purpose: they help to highlight the very nature of love, because within love, the gift of grace is tucked just beneath the surface. Remember, it’s easy to love the easy to love! The real test is loving people when they seem unlovable. We may not be capable of perfect, unconditional love, the way that God is...but we should always strive for it anyway!

What is the closest we can get? I now understand that it is parental love. And believe me, I have had plenty of people to try to love in an unconditional way! My parents and family were first, friends, and then came my husband, for whom I am supremely grateful. He is an amazing man, the answer to a thousand prayers, and already a beautiful example of a father. I try every day to extend my best love to him, as well as my friends and family. But now....oh wow...this tiny human in our house has taken up such a big place in my heart, it’s overwhelming! I know that it will not be easy every day, but I have no doubt that I will love this boy with my whole heart every day of my life, no matter what. So this revelation, this new life of mine, has opened my eyes to something I’ve been missing my whole life: THIS is love. And THIS...is what my mother has felt for me every day of my life...and I’ve never been able to appreciate it until now.

I think back through my life, and although I think I was a pretty easy kid, there still had to be a million times when my mother was worried about me. I think of things that happened that she may never have even known about, and if I think of my child in those situations, my heart hurts! I think back through years of how hard she worked to single-handedly keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and even have a good bit of fun in between. It couldn’t have been easy...there were times I remember her working three jobs to make it all work. It occurred to me recently that we probably weren’t very wealthy...but I never would’ve known it: I grew up so happy, healthy, and surrounded by everything I needed. God certainly made sure that I was fully provided for, and He did it all in one amazing woman. Now that I know what it feels like to love me the way she does, maybe I can love her the with the capacity she deserved all these years. The words aren’t enough: “Thank you.” “I appreciate you.” “I love you.” They’re certainly true, and always have been. But now, the weight in their meanings are so much more, and the words themselves seem too small...so hopefully, as she continues to love me as she always has, she will understand that they are now so much more...because she is and always has been loving me in that exact way: so much more!

My whole life, my mother has been my prime example of how to love people. Let me tell you, she’s done a great job: she is one of the most selfless, compassionate people I’ve ever known. Now that I have a baby of my own, I can look back and easily see the “more” that she has offered to me, as well as my cousins, our family, and friends and neighbors. She has loved like a mother, and although I was always the main recipient, she certainly offered that love to others too. If we imagine that love, multiplied by infinity, we can kind of understand how God loves us....and how He expects us to try to love each other. We were made in his image, and He commands us to love others as He has loved us (John 13:34.) So today, and every day, remember how a mother loves, how our Father loves, and do the same! Love like a mother. (And don’t forget to thank YOUR mother!)

Back to It

I know, I know...it's been over a month since we posted any blogs.
But you know what?!
That's just how life gets sometimes.

Here's the good news!!
It's a new month and there's lots to share!

This month, the focus is on Mom's and I'd love for you to share some of your favorite memories of your mom OR if you are a mom, some of your best moments being a mom, photo's, etc...


We'll be sharing it all...the good, the bad, the hard times, and the best times!  Please message me or leave a comment if you'd like to share!

We are in this together my friends!